The famous American singer Lady Gaga, 35, featured in the first episode of the documentary series ‘The Me You Can’t See’ – produced by and starring the prince harry from England and presenter Oprah Winfrey – who 19 years stayed pregnant because of a rape
The ‘Poker Face’ interpreter participated in the Apple TV streaming platform program in an interview with Oprah, in which she indicated that, in 2005, when she was already part of the record industry, a music producer raped her.
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It was the same pain I felt when the person who raped me got me pregnant
“I was 19 years old and I was working on music and a producer told me ‘take your clothes off’ and I said ‘no’ and left. They told me they were going to burn all my music. And they did not stop. They didn’t stop asking me, I was paralyzed and I don’t even remember … I felt pain“, he indicated.
The ‘A Star Is Born’ actress said that you will not reveal the identity of your attacker because you don’t want to have to see that person again. “I will not say his name. I understand this #MeToo movement and I understand that a lot of people feel really comfortable with it. I never want to face this person again”, He assured through tears.
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The Pop star He also spoke of the long journey it has taken to get to a good point in his mental health. This is because the abuse of which it was victim It left her deeply hurt, both physically and emotionally.
In fact, years later relived the trauma. He had to go to a hospital because he was feeling the same symptoms that he suffered after he was raped and found out she was pregnant. As a result of this event, he began to attend a psychiatrist.
“Years later I went to the hospital, they brought in a psychiatrist and I told them: ‘Bring me a real doctor.’ I said, ‘Why is there a psychologist here? I can’t feel my body. ‘ I felt total pain, then I was numb“, She said, adding that” I was sick for weeks (…) I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me left me pregnant on the corner of my parents’ house, because I was vomiting and sick. Because she had been abused. I was locked in a studio for months. “
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Similarly, he indicated that after the abuse he had several psychotic breakouts that lasted until 2018, consequently, his body was paralyzed for no apparent logical reason. It was there that she was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder because of the nightmare that she lived and for which, she indicates, she was not the same for many years.
“The way I feel when I am in pain is how I felt after I was raped. I had so many MRIs and scans and they never find anything, but your body remembers. I couldn’t feel anything. I disassociated myself. It’s like your brain disconnects and you don’t know why no one else is panicking, but you’re in a state of ultra paranoia.”Said the Oscar winner for ‘Best Original Song’.
He also assured that for a long time he felt that he was worth nothing and that he felt like dying: “It is very real to feel that there is a black cloud that follows you wherever you go, telling you that you are worth nothing and that you should die.”
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The interpreter of ‘Shallow’ has self-injured repeatedly, because, as he explained to Oprah, it is a way to take out his pain instead of having it inside. He has also thrown himself against a wall and cut himself. However, she indicated that this, in the end, only made her feel much worse.
“Do you know why it is not good to cut yourself? Do you know why it is not good to throw yourself against the wall? Do you know why self-harm is not good? Because it makes you feel worse. You think you’re going to feel better because you’re showing someone, ‘Look, it hurts.’ That doesn’t help“he mused.
For this reason it carries six whole months without doing it and using techniques she has learned in the last two and a half years, she has learned to “get herself out of that state of mind.”
“The reason I recently mutilated myself is because the healing process in my mental health it has been a slow improvement. And even if I have six great months, all I need is something to be triggered once to make me feel bad, “he said.
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